"My team member wants a promotion, but doesn't deserve it!?"
I cannot tell you how many times I’ve been asked something along the lines of:
"My team member wants a promotion, but they don’t deserve it”
They say they want more. But... should they get it?
You’ve had the conversation:
“Where do you want to go in your career?”
“I’d love to grow into a leadership role.”
You offer support. Maybe recommend a course. Suggest a stretch project. Encourage them to shadow someone more senior.
They nod enthusiastically.
And then… don’t meet the expectations.
They don’t follow through.
They avoid opportunities.
They brush off feedback.
They say they want to grow - but you’re just not seeing it.
So what’s going on?
Is it a motivation problem? A skill gap? Or are they simply not ready for what they’re asking for?
Let’s talk about what to do when someone says they want more, but you’re not seeing the performance, potential, or behaviour to back it up.
Step 1: Get clear on the business need
The matter of fact truth here is, not every development goal can to be fulfilled.
If there’s no clear business need for a promotion or new role, it’s okay to say so.
✅ What to say:
“I want to be transparent. Right now, we don’t have a business need for a [more senior role / leadership role] in the team. That could change in the future, but for now, let’s focus on you nailing your current role and building the skills that would make you ready if and when that opportunity opens up.”
This sets boundaries, manages expectations, and gives them something tangible to work on.
Step 2: Separate ambition from ability
Sometimes people want progression for the status, not because they’re ready.
They like the sound of leadership.
They want more money or recognition.
But they’re not yet showing the performance or behaviours that warrant it.
✅ What to say:
“I hear you’re keen to progress, and I’m glad you’re ambitious. At the same time, progression isn’t just about interest, it has to be backed up with consistent performance. Right now, I’d like to see [examples: stronger ownership on projects, better collaboration, improved reliability] before we talk next steps.”
This keeps things honest and fair - not everyone is ready for the next level, and that’s okay.
Step 3: Redefine growth without promotion
Sometimes growth isn’t a new title or payrise, but instead, It’s getting better at the role they already have.
If they’re not ready for the next level, shift the focus.
✅ What to say:
“Let’s pause the promotion chat for now and focus on growing your impact in your current role. If we can get you consistently delivering high-quality work, showing initiative, and working well with the team - that’s the foundation for everything else.”
Growth doesn’t always mean moving up. Sometimes it means going deeper, or just doing the basics better.
Step 5: Be honest when it’s just not happening
If you’ve had the conversations, offered the support, and given the feedback - and still, there’s no improvement?
It’s time to be direct.
✅ What to say:
“We’ve talked a few times about development, and I’ve tried to support that by [list actions]. But I’m not seeing the level of performance or effort that would justify the next step. Is this something you still want to work on, or should we refocus?”
Sometimes people need to hear the truth to snap into action. Other times, they’ll quietly admit they’re not that invested - and that’s your cue to step back.
Final Thought: It’s not your job to manufacture motivation
As a manager, your job is to:
Create clarity
Offer development opportunities
Hold high standards
Give honest feedback
But you can’t want it more than they do.
If there’s no business case, no follow-through, and no performance? Then the answer might simply be:
Not now. Not yet. And maybe… not ever.
And that’s okay.
H x
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