Nerves should be your best friend as manager
Morningggg - I’m currently on the train to London doing some serious reflecting on the weekend I have had.
I turned 29 on Friday, I had a stunning day with loved ones and the sun actually came out here in Manchester.
However, every spare second I had to think, my mind went to ‘you’re going to be stood on the TedX stage on Sunday’.
Now, I’m on a stage talking to a crowd weekly - public speaking nerves rarely get me these days. But TedX was a different beast entirely.
I was backstage physically shaking, and when I heard the host introducing me on stage, all I could think was: ‘This is your last chance to RUN… Heather gooo’
But a few deep breaths later. I walked on stage. Delivered the whole talk as I’d practiced. The crowd clapped and cheered. The feedback was great….
Then I ran off and had a quick cry in the dressing room alone.
It’s Tuesday morning now, almost 48 hours later, and I’m reflecting on all the times in my life I’ve felt as nervous as I did just before going on that stage:
Breaking up with an ex of 5 years
Going for my results after a biopsy
Traveling to London on my own for the first time to go for a job interview at Harrods when I was 21yo
Asking for a payrise
Handing in my notice with a toxic boss
Firing an employee for the first time
All moments that had a huge impact on the direction of my life and who I am today.
‘Nerves Build Character’
This is a phrase my Dad used to say to me growing up. That and ‘it’ll be reyt’ (love you Yorkshire).
Nerves build character
We need nerves. Nerves do not make us weak.
Nerves like to remind us that this is a new experience, and we feel nervous because what lies on the other side of that experience is important to us.
When you get shaky and nervous before having that difficult conversation, it’s your body’s way of letting you know there could be danger, but there will also be growth.
When you’re interviewing someone else and they’re nervous, that’s simply because they care so deeply about the opportunity in front of them.
So now, whenever I get nervous, I remember that phrase.
Nerves build character
And my nerves will NEVER consume me. They will keep showing up. But they’ll instead remind me of growth.
Nerves are now my favorite emotion. In myself and in others.
It’s so important when leading a team, as you’ll see nerves begin to consume others too, and it’s your job not let those emotions determine your judgment of that human.
Nerves do not make us weak, it means we care.
Your turn
What is making you feel nervous this week?
A conversation that you know needs to be had with your team (or someone in your personal life)?
Something you need to let go of?
I challenge you to face it ❤️
And let me know in the comments if you have and tricks for dealing with nerves!
Peace,
H.