The 4 boundaries all managers need to set
I used to be nothing other than a rampant people-pleaser who cared more about winning approval than my own mental health.
But the thing is, when we don’t set clear boundaries, not only do we flush our MH down the drain, we actually become a shitty leader as a result.
I ended up overstepping in relationships, having no time to work ‘on’ big projects, and ended up being a sponge for all the drama in the office.
UNTIL I got very strict with boundaries.
You’ll have heard 1000 times that “you need clear boundaries”
But what you won’t ever have seen is a comprehensive, practical list of actual boundaries that you can write down and start practicing this week.
So that’s what I’ve pulled together for you today.
2 rules BEFORE I give you the boundaries:
You have to write these down, they can’t just be in your head
Write them on a sticky note and stick them to your laptop, you have to have them in your vision as a constant reminderYou have to track when you honor them and don’t
I’ll attach a spreadsheet boundary tracker at the bottom of this post, over the next 30 days, I want you to commit to tracking exactly when you do and don’t honor them (no shame here, but you need to be super honest with yourself about them)
The 4 boundaries all managers need to set
Time Boundaries
You need to set some very clear restrictions around your time to be the most successful manager you can. The restrictions I set were:
Don’t respond to team outside of work hours
Zero work allowed when on holiday/lunch breaks
Before clicking ‘accept’ on a meeting invite, review the true importance of it, is it worth your precious time? Can the time be reduced?
Never send meeting invites without a clear agenda
Don’t take on projects that you and your team can’t finish
2. Friendship Boundaries
You can socialise and be friends with your team, but you need a line, that line is your Friendship Boundaries. And here’s what they look like:
Never share management-sensitive information with a member of your team just because ‘you trust them’
Never allowing the people you’re close with to ‘gossip’ to you about others at work
Educating yourself on bias, to make sure you never allow friendship bias to impact any of your decisions
3. Energy Boundaries
You need to be protecting your energy just as much as you do your time, because when either runs out it’s game over. Here’s exactly what to don to protect your energy at work:
When people come to you and ‘moan’ or ‘complain’ deal with it very factually, don’t get involved too deeply in the emotion or drama.
Don’t take on tasks that don’t play to you and your team’s strengths, you can push back, there may be a better team for the job, or it might not be a good course of action whatsoever.
4. Pace Boundaries
Otherwise known as what gets your urgent attention, and what get’s left and pushed back until someone forgets about it.
We usually focus on the easier, safe things (like emails/slack) but the scarier, more important work (like doing some deep research, or starting a presentation) is where the growth lies.
You need to decide what takes your ‘urgent’ attention, what is the first thing you prioritise in the morning. Here’s what:
Turn off notifications, your team’s quick questions aren’t important and you’re actually becoming the bottleneck to their growth by being a rapid responder and never letting them learn for themselves
Close that email tab, set time to respond to emails for 1hr per day and the rest of the day stay out of there.
Following on from that, don’t have your emails as the host for your todo list, it does technically work well, but the hidden impact is that you’re always checking your emails and using your inbox like a brain, meaning you’re in a perpetual state of distraction
Summary
Boundaries can be an absolute minefield so I’ve tried to really simplify these concepts into the 4 sections above
Here is your boundary tracker spreadsheet, 30 days to help keep you accountable, just make a copy of the spreadsheet to use it yourself